I Am AfraiD!!

Assalamualaikum dears,

FYI, I am a person who is unable to decide something confidently. Especially when it involves something big and important. I'm afraid my decision is not right and I will regret it later on. Sometimes, I don't even think about the things that I'll do. I just do it in my own ways, anytime and anywhere. But, most of the times, I will not do anything because I'm afraid. 

What I am afraid of??

I'm afraid I will hurt someone with my decision.

I'm afraid I will burden someone...

I'm afraid I will lose someone, yet I don't want to lose that person.

I'm afraid I will be sad and not happy after this.

I'm afraid to be alone.

I'm afraid to face reality.

I'm afraid of challenges in front.

I'm afraid of competition.

I'm afraid of tears..

Too much afraid of.. I cannot even step one step ahead if these thoughts always in the mind. Arrggghhh.. you must think that I am a difficult person right? Hmmm..maybe~

Lots of good fortunes I missed because of the stupid feelings;- becoming a doctor, going to UK, furthering study at oversea, stay with my SL, confessing, getting hired at best company and bla bla bla....

Sometimes, I really want to do those things w/o thinking but I cannot!!! Because my heart won't allow me to do so. Because I might getting hurt. When I got hurt, I'm afraid I cannot pull myself back together to the equilibrium state!

You see???? I am still afraid at last~

Heartnotes: Will I be able to tell ... myself?

Reasons to go home

Assalamualaikum dears,

Why I must go home?

1. Miss my mom n dad already
2. To settle YT loan
3. To meet someone
4. To attend my friend's brother wedding
5. To sleep at home

reason no. 5 is the best!

Teddy Mucuk

There are two teddy bears beside me. Both are adorable. 

pic from mr.google~ mine tertinggal kt rumah

There are differences..

There are similarities..

There are love..

There are hatred..

There are questions..

There are answers..

There are doubts..

There are trusts..

There are thoughts..

There are feelings..

There are tears..

There are laughs..

Whatever it is..

Hope 'you' can always stay next to me

Properties of: Zaidatul Akmal MM, 11.24p.m.

I am doing my best

I am doing my best...

• in my ibadah
• in my study
• in my words
• in my acts
• in my thoughts
• to become a good muslimah
• to become a good daughter
• to become a best friend
• to become a best student
• in finishing my master

It is hard..but I will try my best.

So, please do support me!!!! yeah~!

Note: Will I try my very best to get that love?? I wonder.....

Macam2 Hal

Assalamualaikum dears, 

Tgh hr td kan I informed I nk g klinik kan? untuk amik result blood test. Tp kite merancang, Allah yang tentukan. Tak pergi pon klinik. 

Alkisahnya...

Pg 2 dalam kul 10, Nani msg cakap kete die xleh nk start. Die nk kol mekanik. I pon assume sume settle la kot nnt. Tgh hari tu I balik dengan Tuty, sbb die nk g CGS tnyekan mengenai offer letter further study die. So, I tumpang la die balik sekali. Smpai2 je blok, terkesima tgk Nani n Dayah kt lobi blok..duk bersantai2.

Me: Eh, mekanik dh datang ke?

Nani: Hmm, dr kul 10.30 pg td dah kol. Dia cakap kejap lg. Ni dh dekat kul 12.30 dah ni..

Me: Ha!!! Dh tu selame ni korg duk sini je laa....

Nani & Dayah : Ha, Yelaaaa!!!

Me: Ok, ak try tnyekan amir..kot2 die bley tolong~

Opppsss..sekali Amir g KL la pulak.. terus buntu!

Then, baru la Dayah cakap nk kol Abg Din, cikgu sekolah memandu kitorg~

Abg Din kate, OK, lg 12 minit abg sampai...

Mekanik yang ditunggu tetap x sampai2 walaupon dh kol lg sekali!

Abg Din smpai terus jer tgk battery. Dia cakap battery dh kong terus ni..x tahu la leh recharge ke x. Worst come to worst kene beli battery baru. Haru!! Abg Din try jumper start kete tu..tp takes time la nk boleh hidup enjin tu. Akhirnye kitorg ke bengkel kereta ditemani oleh Abg Din n kawan die. Naseb bek dorg ade. Kalu kitorg je yg deal dengan tokey kedai tu, mahu la kene ketuk harge. Melayang beratus la jugak duit hr ni..Dh siap tukar battery dalam kul 2.15pm laa..

Kawan Abg Din nk bawak g kedai satu lg pulak memandangkan alarm kereta Nani rosak. Sekali lame la pulak kt kedai tu..3.30pm bru siap kt situ. Ce citer..ade mase lg ke nk g klinik??? Semestinye la x. Klinik tu bukan 10 minit dr UMP. hahaha...hadoi, bile la pulak nk g amik result blood test tu?? Dh la esok dan lusa ade  Research Methodology course. huhu...

Jumaat la jawabnye~~

Blood Test

Assalamualaikum dears,

I lupe laa..Supposedly I g amik result blood test last week..tp bizi bebenor last week. Semalam lupe, Esok dan luse ade course pulak.. Nak x nak kene g amik ptg ni laaa...haaa..malasnye nk drive! Jauhnyer klinik tu~ sob3x

my 100th entry!!!!

Assalamualaikum dears,

dh bertahun belog ini tercipta. tp bru hr ni capai 100th entry... sowiey la dear. menulis kadang2 memerlukan idea.. nk merapu2 x pandai.. rase jgk nk wat lucky draw, contest ke ape2 ke utk 100th entry ni..tp x bape la nk pandai..kene belajar lg la dr blogger2 lain..

next tyme ae~ maybe 200th entry.. kih kih kih... doa2 je laa yer.. anyway thanx to my dear readers, followerz, blogwalkers yg sudi bace entry2 x bley blaa dlm belog ni yer... u r soooooooooooo sweet.. tanpa kamu siapalah diriku!!!

Thanx for reading!!!!

Wawa's Wedding and Our Small Happening Reunion - part Tw0

Assalamualaikum dears,

We meet again in Part Two!!!!

 Ok..entry ni kite focus untuk reunion je yer..

Sebenarnye reunion kitorg ni x dirancang pon..semuanya kebetulan dan takdir Allah.

Plan asalnye, lepas habis kenduri di rumah Wawa, terus nk gerak ke Muar, nk g tido rumah Baiyinah..yela, x tahu jalan g Muor, kenala gerak awal2..kang nnt sesat. hehehe..

Kebetulan Nani punye besday hr ni. Pakwe dia sggup tu turun dr KL untuk jupe buah hati. Nani suh I hntr die ke simpang kt bukit rambai jer..tp I ni terfikir, dh alang2 duk kt Melaka ni, klu x berjalan, mane boleh! hahaha...so, I cakap kt Nani, jom la, I hntr u g Dataran pahlawan. Kebetulan our geng (BKB's classmates) pon nk g sane. So, c u there laaaaa!!!

From left: Dayah, me, Nabilah, Maryam and Nani

Muka2 gumbira

Sampai je Dataran pahlawan, satu hal pulak cari parking. Weekend kan..ramai org datang bercuti agaknye. X kurang org Melaka datang melepak kt sini. Parking la kitorg dalam Metro parking dari kul 3.30ptg kot. Lepas tu kitorg masuk Mahkota Parade, solat then berjalan2 tanpa arah tujuan dalam MP tu, mkn eskrem, sembang2 dalam food court, gelak2..pastu sape ntah cakap,"Jom naik atas!"

Kitorg follow laaa..

Rupe2nye foodcourt tu dekat dgn Kota A-Famosa. Haruslah naik Bukit St.Paul lepas tu.. x cukup la jelajah A Famosa jer. Diey ajak berlumba naik bukit tu..haha..penat kot lepas tu! Yang lain sbb pakai heels x larat nk naik laju2.. lalalala~

Kawan2 I ni mmg happening laaa.. Boleh diorg jerit kt atas bukit tu!!! ramai kot tourist tyme tu... terperanjat dorg..dh la semua kitorg pakai baju kurung, bersopan santun..tetibe menjerit! *of course la I x jerit~

Then, kitorg pon turun la dr bukit tu... Tetibe Amin cakap, "Ak ade duit cukup untuk belanja sorg je beli topi." 

Hahaha..harus la gegurls ni berebut nk topi!!! Lawa kot topi2 kt situ. Naseb baik I dh beli satu thn lepas mase dtg cni..so, xde la teruja sngt nk topi tu.. Disebabkan ramai yg nk topi tu, Nabilah suggest main ozzom! Kecoh kot depan kedai tu.  Last2 Dayah yg menang topi tersebut. Kecewa org lain~

Dayah with her hat dan Amin, si pemberi hadiah

Lepas penat berjalan-jalan, kitorg pon balik semula ke Mahkota Parade untuk tggu Baiyinah kt sane. Lame jugak la tggu Bye. Rupe-rupenye die g masuk kedai kasut cr sepatu...Untuk dinner malam tu, Bye and Yana belanja kitorg makan KFC. Actually , x sangke pulak Bye nk dtg amik kitorg kt sini. Terharu dengan Bye. She is really a good friend! I Lebiu Bye!

Dalam 8.30mlm kitorg pon separate. Amin n Yana back to KL, Qamarus hantar Diey ke Melaka Central, Dayah, Nabilah, Maryam n I followed Bye back to her home at Muar. Rumah Bye class mcm hotel u ols! Thanx Bye sbb tumpangkan kitorg tido kt rumah kamoo. Best Mek Tam masak!

Disebabkan rumah Bye mcm hotel, kitorg x reti2 nk bangun mandi keesokan harinye. Sume pakat bergolek2 je atas katil, surf tenet, bersembang. Breakfast pon dh jd kul 11pg! Lepas tu siap2 kuar g jalan2 kt Muar pulak. Ingt nk terus bertolak balik UMP, tp Mek Tam (mak sedara Bye) dh masak untuk lunch. So, haruslah makan tengah hari dulu before balik. Dalam 3.30 ptg mcm tu, baru la bertolak balik ke UMP. Sampai UMP tepat 6.50 ptg (haha..penat doh nk type..tulis ringkas2 jer)

Wawa's Wedding and Our Small Happening Reunion - part One

Assalamualaikum dears,


Weekend baru ni, I gagahkan diri untuk memandu kereta ke Melaka untuk menghadiri kenduri kahwin roomate mase first year..Walaupon setahun je duk sebilik, tp rasenye mcm tiap2 tahun kot tido bilik die..hahaha...Ok la, x yh merepek panjang2, kite terus citer2 okeh!!!


Before g Malacca ni, I dh amik kelas Geografi x rasmi dgn Cikgu Google! Hahaha..belajau peta dr UMP ke Jalan Setulang Daing, Bukit Rambai, Melaka.. (wah, dh ade slang Melaka kot...) harus la prepare2 betol2 kan? Dh la sume bute jalan nk g Melaka...adeyh! Nasib baik la si Dayah berjaya pinjam GPS dgn daddy die..ade la jugak backup plan~


Kitorg seramai 4 org (I, Dayah, Nabilah and Nani) bertolak ke Melaka pada 1 Oktober 2011 kul 8.00 pg dr UMP. Perjalanan dr UMP ke Segamat sangat smooth, no problem sbb x sesat! Tp lepas je dr simpang Segamat, terus confuse! GPS cakap turn left, peta google kate turn right!! cube citer perasaan driver tyme tu!!! kalut kelam kelibut la jawabnye!! tp disebabkan I driver, and I yg google peta tu, so, I turn right, which means kitorg akan lalu Gemas, then baru masuk Melaka...Mahu 2 kali jugak salah masuk jalan pahtu pusing balik sbb gara2 ikot GPS n confuse dgn peta..last sekali, kitorg decide ikot peta..at least peta itu sudah pasti menunjukkan jalan ke Melaka tanpa ade highway... jalan GPS maybe jupe highway~


Sampai sempadan Melaka, syukur sangat2..then misi mencari Jalan Setulang Daing pulak...punye la dahsyat kitorg cr jalan x jupe..dr simpang balai polis hg simpang balai polis seterusnya, kitorg x nmpk jalan ke rumah pengantin. Last sekali, bile pusing balik, baru la jupe... ade banner besau Kot!!! x nampak jugak...kitorg smpai lebey kurang kul 12tgh. kire ok la tu kan, dgn salah masuk jalan lg tp still smpai on time..


Sampai2 je, terus naik jupe Wawa, tp Wawa tgh mekap..kitorg pon g r makan dulu. Tp I exhausted sngt smpai x lalu makan..sebu jer perut tyme tu..Makan pon ala kadar supaya x masuk angin perut nnt. lepas makan terus masuk berehat kt dlm rumah..cewah, wat mcm rumah sendiri kan???? suke hati jek!! Thanx to Nani sbb bg free massage kt I yer...hilang lenguh2 and stress badan..hahaha


Dlm kul 1.30 ptg, rombongan pengantin lelaki pon datang. Ha..lupe nk cakap, diorg punye theme for this wedding adalah Arabian. dh serupe Abu Nawwas dh Abg Wan ni (husband Wawa)..hahaha.

Lepas tu ade pertunjukan silat. sekejap je silat2 ni, buka langkah tutup langkah je kot...hahaha..lepas tu pengantin pon berarak ke pelamin. Tyme ni paling best, sbb ade sekatan ke pelamin. Ha, mcm mane tu? Kite tgk gambar seterusnya...

Ha..gambar di atas sebenarnye dh sekatan ketiga oleh kakak-kakak Wawa. Sekatan pertama dan kedua diwakili oleh anak-anak saudara Wawa. Ghupe2nye mmg adat diorg ni Pengantin lelaki kene byr tol before boleh smpai ke pengantin perempuan. Naseb baik x suh jawab pantun..kalu x lg haru! Byk mane pengantin lelaki nk bg terpulang laaa..Ish, boleh bankrupt pengantin lelaki camni klu dh byk sekatan..Naseb la.. (Tp, I tgk org2 yg belakang pengantin yg hulur duit, pengantin x bawak duit..hahaha)

Lepas dh setel tol2 ni, barulah pengantin lelaki boleh duduk di pelamin yang cantik tu.

Pengantin lelaki sedang buka penutup muka pengantin perempuan

Suwit kan mereka ni??

Pulut kuning..x makan pon.just letak kt mulut..lalala~

Sorry pengantin, kacau pengantin makan pulak!!! hehehe..

Lepas dh siap bergambar sume, kitorg pon.. mesti la x balik lg. Alang-alang dh smpai Melaka, harusla berjalan2...

Kite smbg untuk part two pulak yer!!!

Thanx for reading~~~ 

Tembak orang!

Assalamualaikum dears,

Hmm..malam ni I ter'tembak' seseorang..susah nk control the feeling of curiosity. Nk tanye directly, mustahillah I nk wat mcm tu..It will only hurt me at last. Tp x tnye, perasaan ni melonjak2 mcm lava gunung berapi!!! (bukan marah ok, cume nk describe feeling nk tahu jek)

But, that person mcm2 tahu2 je~~ Penafian itu harus, tetapi kebenarannya??? Ouh..nervous kot tyme type entry ni..feeling of unsecured!

Tak suke perasaan ini..I hope I can trust that person, no doubt, just TRUST!!

*Susah kan??? bile kite suke kt seseorg, kite jd bias dgn diri sendiri~