I Am AfraiD!! | Belle of Paradise


Jumaat, 7 Oktober 2011

I Am AfraiD!!

Assalamualaikum dears,

FYI, I am a person who is unable to decide something confidently. Especially when it involves something big and important. I'm afraid my decision is not right and I will regret it later on. Sometimes, I don't even think about the things that I'll do. I just do it in my own ways, anytime and anywhere. But, most of the times, I will not do anything because I'm afraid. 

What I am afraid of??

I'm afraid I will hurt someone with my decision.
I'm afraid I will burden someone...
I'm afraid I will lose someone, yet I don't want to lose that person.
I'm afraid I will be sad and not happy after this.
I'm afraid to be alone.
I'm afraid to face reality.
I'm afraid of challenges in front.
I'm afraid of competition.
I'm afraid of tears..

Too much afraid of.. I cannot even step one step ahead if these thoughts always in the mind. Arrggghhh.. you must think that I am a difficult person right? Hmmm..maybe~

Lots of good fortunes I missed because of the stupid feelings;- becoming a doctor, going to UK, furthering study at oversea, stay with my SL, confessing, getting hired at best company and bla bla bla....

Sometimes, I really want to do those things w/o thinking but I cannot!!! Because my heart won't allow me to do so. Because I might getting hurt. When I got hurt, I'm afraid I cannot pull myself back together to the equilibrium state!

You see???? I am still afraid at last~

Heartnotes: Will I be able to tell ... myself?

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